forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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