Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
