I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
