butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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