Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
