Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
