the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
