And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
