I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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