its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
