Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
