Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
