You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
