Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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