But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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