Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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