I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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