You're my little dorito
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
