how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
