the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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