my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize