No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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