Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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