She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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