what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
