the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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