how can u be prego again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
