false alarm. still invincible.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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