i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
