he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
