Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
