Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize