Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
