90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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