I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
