Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
