She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
