seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
