You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
