Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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