It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Don't EVER smell your tampon
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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