I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
