Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
