We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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