He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
