She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
