Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
