Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
