i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
