Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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