just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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