we have officially lost it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
