just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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