she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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