So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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